Reverse the Negatives, Affirm Something New

BEHAVIOR IS AN ILLUSION. Behavior is a picture a person paints of what it is he believes to be the truth about himself. Every one of us has within us the potential to be, do and have what our hearts desire. We must be willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen. We must see ourselves in a different way and affirm what we want this to look like.

Reverse the negative aspects of yourself in the picture you want to create. Affirm the reverse of what appears to be the truth about yourself right now. If your original picture portrayed you as rebellious, lazy and good-for-nothing, the reverse would be agreeable, active and worthwhile.

Reversing allows your mind to see other possibilities and to develop new ideas about yourself. Reversing and re-affirming is not magic; it just feels that way. You will notice a shift as you begin to experience yourself with your new affirmations.

You can have anything you want
if you want it badly enough.
You can be anything you want to be,
have anything you desire,
accomplish anything you set out to accomplish ̶ 
if you will hold to that desire.
with singleness of purpose . . .
-ROBERT COLLIER

Allow People Their Lessons

OFTEN, WE TRY to carry someone else’s pain. Why? Because we genuinely care. It is rough to see someone you care for going through a difficult time. Yet you can be supportive, loving, and nurturing and still allow people to do what they need to do. (Sometimes, their experience is a lesson for us as well.)

We may have to go so far as to intervene to save someone’s life. But beyond getting a person to safety, we must allow each person to do his own healing.

The analogy I often think of is a wounded animal. An injured animal will hide itself in the brush and lick its wounds. If another like and loving animal of the forest comes along and sees its brother hurting, it will lay down quietly and wait for it to rest and heal. As the injured animal feels better, the helping animal will go and get food. Healing comes from moral support and physical closeness.

This may be all you need to do for a person who is struggling with pain. Be PA TI E N T. Allow that person to heal himself from within. It will ultimately be his source of strength.

The freedom to fail is vital if you’re going to succeed.
Most successful men fail time and time again,
and it is a measure of the strength.
that failure merely propels them
into some new attempt at success.
-MICHABL KORDA

Get Selective Amnesia

IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT WE ARE products of our pasts.  And while this is true, we often let our focus take root in the negative aspects of someone’s nature without even giving them a chance to get up to bat.

How many times have we refused to give someone a chance because we’ve heard about their past before we have even met them? Sometimes we meet them, like them and then find out about their past. If their past was negative in some way, we may abandon any form of a relationship without taking any more time to know them.

Getting amnesia stops the attraction to the negative immediately and allows you to remain in a position of unconditional regard and acceptance.

You don’t have to know someone’s past to treat them with human regard. In fact, it’s best that you don’t know their past until you’ve had a chance to experience them for a period of time, thus making and trusting your own observations and feelings.

When first meeting someone, we may ask them how many times they’ve been married, how many children they have, and what, exactly, they’ve done for a living up until now. We tend to hold onto the past as if it protects us from them in some way.

Oddly enough, the opposite frequently happens. We want to prepare ourselves to avoid the worst. We believe that if we just remind them of their past often enough and in diplomatic ways, they will not ever do, whatever “it” is again! Should work, right?

What do these constant reminders bring? Most likely, a repeat of the past, because we aren’t envisioning anything new, different or better. Chances are, even if they did do something new, we’d probably miss it because our focus would be on remembering the past.

What if we knew nothing about each other’s pasts? Getting amnesia allows us to be fully present and accountable for ourselves and our actions. Getting amnesia encourages speaking to situations directly and as they occur instead of expecting the worst and assuming we already know the answers for someone else.

You have already survived the past. Why allow it to hurt you or others further?

Reflect upon your present blessings,
of which every man has many;
not on your past misfortunes,
of which all men have some.
-CHARLES DICKENS