STEP ASIDE. CHECK YOURSELF out. If you find that you are trying to get other people to support something that you’ve done or to support you because of something that you feel has happened to you, observe yourself.

Are you feeling guilty in some way? Are you feeling violated? Up to this point, your perspective is coming from a place inside you where there could be a past hurt. Look for it.

If, from an observer’s position, you can see that this situation is not as intense as you experienced it, then something is presenting itself for you to look at and resolve.

Pretend you are watching yourself on television. How are you participating in this situation? Observing yourself is a great self-­ correcting strategy. It can get you out of the victim position and back in the driver’s seat. You may quickly adjust your manner and tone.

Sometimes it’s not always easy or delightful to see yourself as you really are. Be gentle with yourself and know it’s just an issue of fine-tuning.  It can be very healing to know that you can be in charge of how you are viewed by people who matter to you. Self-observation is a matter of perspective, yours.             

It elevates self-concept and self-esteem to observe yourself correcting a situation successfully. Observing yourself can also help you become better focused and emotionally available to the people you are interacting with. Being fully present allows you a more in-depth understanding of yourself and what pushes your buttons.

From an observer’s position, you can immediately see the solution and determine how to deal more effectively with this and similar situations in the future. Getting a clear picture from an outside position increases the probability of success.

If there’s a way to do it better . . . find it.