Is “Hurt to Teach” Your Default Mindset?
Here’s Why We Must Change the Life-Limiting Story We Tell!
Welcome to the latest installment of TurnAround Thursday!
Today, we’re diving headfirst into the realm of hurtful labels, lessons, and (you guessed it) skill development.
So grab a coffee, take a seat, and let’s chat about this little gem: “Hurt to Teach?!”
Let’s face it: when we see a kid acting like they’ve just chugged a gallon of soda before a 5-mile race, it’s natural to jump to conclusions.
You might be tempted to slap a negating label on them faster than you can say, “Why can’t you just behave?”
But here’s the kicker:
Those Catch-22 labels? They’re basically junk food for the soul.
They might seem satisfying momentarily—just like that third slice of pizza you promised yourself you wouldn’t eat—but they leave you and the kids feeling pretty empty (and possibly with a side of regret).
Reflecting on my journey from being referred to as my parents “problem child” (which was 100% hurtful, harmful, unhelpful, and unnecessary) to becoming someone who helps others navigate the complexities of behavior, I realize how crucial it is to break that cycle.
My experiences taught me that I didn’t need pain; I needed an understanding energy field.
How often do we replicate the same patterns without questioning their validity?
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This Week’s TurnAround is: Flip the Script!
Transform those life-limiting (energetically inflammatory) labels into empowering skill development opportunities!
When you find yourself thinking, “This child is rude,” give it a spin and say, “This child is assertive!
Or if you really want to do a deep and honest dive …
“This child is mirroring my attitude, vibe, and tone!”
Instead of labeling them a “troublemaker,” relabel it to “an innovator questioning the validity – necessity – of excessive boundaries.”
How about this for a twist: think of it as Intelligent Disobedience!
Now, here’s an interesting nugget—intelligent disobedience is actually a skill honed in service animals.
These incredible creatures are trained to assist individuals with disabilities but also taught to override their owner’s instructions when it’s in everyone’s best interest.
Imagine a service dog deciding, “Nah, that’s not a good idea” when its owner says to approach an unstable situation.
That instinct can mean the difference between safety and chaos!
When kids challenge authority, like I once did (much to the chagrin of my teachers and parents), the old-school approach would label them as …
“Brat, difficult, strong-willed, challenging, spirited, defiant, oppositional,
rude, disrespectful, contrary, irresponsible, incorrigible, too sensitive, etc.”
FYI: (These were all my labels as a kid!)
But every label we hurl around is just ripe for a fresh perspective!
So, let’s play with our words!
Instead of slapping labels that weigh us down, let’s transform them into stepping stones for growth.
After all, a little clever RELABELING can open up a world of possibilities!
Keep it fun, keep it light, and watch as those labels turn into something truly empowering!
Every label carries its own unique energy and influences what comes next.
In my work as a counselor and educator, I’ve learned firsthand the importance of fostering welcoming, non-judgmental energetic environments where children feel supported, not crushed under the weight of our expectations.
Encourage “what” (heart connecting) questions and celebrate creativity instead of squashing it. Never ask “why” (head) questions again.
After all, we’re raising the next generation—not molding them into replicas of our own experiences.
If you find yourself stuck in the “hurt to teach” mentality, ask yourself: do you want to mold a resilient, mentally sound future adult or repeat the cycle of self-doubt?
It’s a pretty easy choice, right?
Shift your mindset from critique to coach, from pain to purpose.
Ask yourself, “What skill is missing?” Teach don’t preach!
As someone who has traveled the country sharing the power of effective communication, this intentional approach benefits our children and enriches our own lives, too.
Our kids will not only thank us—they’ll thrive.
And who knows?
You might even find out a little bit about yourself in the process.
Now, let’s go forth and turn those labels around!
Remember, there is always time to make a meaningful change.
And above all else, have some FUN with this!
Reaching out …
PS … As we wrap up today’s TurnAround Thursday, think about how much smoother your interactions could be if you had a proven system to help you navigate those tricky moments with today’s youth.
Imagine transforming those chaotic situations into opportunities for connection and growth. If you’re ready to take your skills to the next level and confidently defuse explosive moments, don’t wait—visit MaryReynolds.com/MAPit to learn more about my MAPit Micro System.
This engaging online mini-course is designed just for you, packed with invaluable insights that will help you reclaim your time and energy.
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