Why Focusing on Labels Could Be Holding You Back
—And What to Do Instead
Imagine standing at the crossroads of endless potential and harmful labels.
Every day, we interact with children who might be labeled with diagnoses that create a ceiling over their flourishing possibilities.
These labels can feel cast in stone, but they are not.
The Flower That Won’t Bloom:
Create the Right Environment for Today’s Youth
Today, we have the power to transform uncomfortable situations into thriving opportunities for growth and understanding.
It’s important to remember that psychiatric diagnoses often leave children feeling trapped under heavy expectations and societal stigma.
Accepting these labels as definitive can limit both our expectations and our interactions.
The real game-changer is this: we can choose to rewrite the narrative.
Instead of letting diagnoses define our perspectives, we can use them as gateways to deeper connections.
It helps to focus on the underlying energetic and emotionally needs of the children in our lives.
Often, their behaviors reflect an oppositional (rightly so) resistance to incoming judgmental – labeling – energies and a frantic search for energetic support and acceptance.
When we shift our perspective—seeing beyond the diagnosis—we begin to unveil the actual challenge: nurturing those needs in a compassionate environment.
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Reflecting on my journey from a FPC: Former Problem Child to a Behavioral TurnAround Specialist, I learned firsthand the importance of Relabeling.
There was a time when I faced similar struggles, and I remember how impactful it was to have someone see beyond my difficulties.
Relabeling is a term I created for myself over forty years ago and I’d deeply appreciate being credited with it.
For instance, instead of viewing a child as “ADHD,” what if we start seeing them as creative front runners with the potential to see beyond the limits others try to place on them?
But you say they have so much energy.
There’s so much negative attitudes, vibes, and tones coming at them, trust me when I say, it’s hard to be in their bodies!
Rather than labeling a child as “just too sensitive” and “anxiety-ridden,” we could recognize them as awake and aware of the untenable atmosphere in the room and who have the capacity of feeling deeply.
Change Your Vibe, See Them Thrive!
Every labeled and diagnosed child is acutely aware of judgmental and hostile attitudes, as well as negative vibes and tones, and it is entirely valid for them to wish for the mistreatment to end.
When we use our RAS: reticular activating system wisely—focusing on solutions—we enhance our ability to connect and support effectively.
This Week’s TurnAround is: Create a Strengths Map
Here’s a simple yet effective TurnAround:
- Create a “strengths map” for each child.
- List out their unique talents, interests, and qualities.
- When you encounter behavior that feels overwhelming, refer back to this map.
It reminds us that they are so much more than the labels they carry.
This act of recognition can empower both you and the children to explore healthier and happier ways to thrive together.
Remember …
“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment
in which it grows. Not the flower.”
-Alexander Den Heijer
Our journey to creating a nurturing atmosphere is essential for everyone to blossom.
I have witnessed this transformative power as I traveled across the country, sharing insights with tens of thousands about the importance of communication and understanding.
Shifting our focus from harmful labels to empowering solutions can create vibrant relationships.
Let us embrace this journey together, digging deeper to understand the heart of behaviors and creating lasting change for the children in our lives.
Together, we can cultivate an environment where potential flourishes.
As someone who has devoted a career to understanding the complexities of children’s behavior, I encourage you to approach each child not as a label but as a unique individual brimming with potential.
With a strong foundation in educational psychology and substantial experience in various academic and counseling roles, I’ve seen firsthand how a shift in perspective can transform challenges into opportunities for growth.
We pave the way for more meaningful connections and discoveries by fostering an environment that prioritizes understanding over stigma.
Let’s embrace the notion that while diagnoses may outline a problematic area that needs addressing is our compassion and insight, which guides the journey forward, helping each child bloom in their own way.
Reaching out …
PS … You’ve taken a step towards being an intentional adult in today’s youth lives—why stop now?
Imagine transforming those chaotic situations into opportunities for connection and growth. If you’re ready to take your skills to the next level and confidently defuse explosive moments, don’t wait—visit MaryReynolds.com/MAPit to learn more about my MAPit Micro System.
This engaging online mini-course is designed just for you, packed with invaluable insights that will help you reclaim your time and energy.
PPS … Make it your business to “be in the know!” Click here to read: Psychiatric Diagnoses Are Scientifically Meaningless
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