Let’s Create Better Ways for Today’s Children

Dear Difference Maker,

This week’s 30-Second TurnAround is about how to stop the generational legacy of pain and trauma we have the option of passing on to this generation.

I’ll never forget when I was seventeen my mother said, “You just wait until you have children of your own, you’ll see what I’ve had to put up with in raising you!”

To which I replied, “I will never treat my children the way you’ve treated me!”  This earned me a slap across the face that sent me sprawling across my bedroom.

Fast forward to my first month of teaching when that pivotal moment came.

I heard myself become my mother.

It was a defining moment, and I decided to not do to children what had been done to me I was going to commit to figuring out better ways.

I remember thinking that if I didn’t go “old school” on kids, what would I do instead?

I was afraid of losing control of the classroom.

So that day, I figured out a better way to find better ways.

Not from obtaining additional endorsements or even a masters. 

To TURN IT AROUND, I went to myself, repeatedly, and got the answers I needed.  I hope you will too.

 

 

This Week’s TurnAround:  What did you abhor, what did you love?

Your assignment as the adult in the room is to be committed to finding better ways. 

This is the mental exercise I created for myself―in that pivotal, defining moment―to replace what had been done to hurt and humiliate me when I faltered as a child.  

Grab a comforting cup of something warm, settle in with paper and pen, and take a moment to reflect.

Draw a line down the middle of the page.

 

Step 1: On the left-hand side, make a list of the hurtful responses and actions you remember receiving from adults, siblings, and peers that were meant to “teach” you a lesson.

As you recall each event, notice how it makes you feel. After you finish, check in with yourself: Rate your energy on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest.

What’s your energy like right now?

 

Step 2: Now, on the right-hand side, write down how you would have preferred to be treated in each situation.

After completing this, do another check-in. On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your energy level now?

 

Step 3: Make it your mission to STOP all practices you identified on the left.

Instead, rigorously embrace and implement the preferred responses on the right that you would have loved receiving instead.

It’s this simple and straightforward.

Commit to actively using the responses that align with your vision for compassionate guidance.

Here’s my position on kind and firm adulting versus bulldozing and helicoptering children to teach them a lesson:

 

 

Be a consultant to the children in your care.

You already know it’s possible to stop using hurtful tactics to manage kids.

You already know it’s possible to embrace compassion, kindness, collaboration, and skill development to guide children toward emotional resilience.

In kindness, we find the strength to uplift others—as well as ourselves.

Change Your Vibe, See Your Kids Thrive!

Welcome to my world of energetics!

Let’s have some fun while doing this!

Together, we can evolve the narrative and create positive impacts on the young lives we touch.