Why Today’s Kids Are Breaking Norms
How we’re “inadvertently” pushing children beyond social boundaries!
Being a Behavioral TurnAround Specialist, I make it my business to scroll and see what people are teaching on social media.
Because of the algorithms, social media tends to show me the types of teaching and parenting tools that I am aligned with.
But every now and then, one makes it through that is teaching educators and parents publicly humiliating ways to treat children.
This past week, I caught one in my thread that was quite disturbing ─ I wish I would have saved it to show you.
A veteran teacher ─ being really proud of herself ─ talked about the kid in her class that wouldn’t get to work and do the assignment.
She told him to do his work.
He said “No.”
She said she was going to call his parents if he didn’t.
He still said “No.”
So she picked up his phone, in front of the entire class, and called his parents and told them their son wouldn’t do his work.
They said, “He doesn’t have to right now.”
She hung up the phone, and decided right then and there to teach him ─ and the rest of the class ─ a lesson on what will not be permitted in her classroom.
So she pointed her finger to the door and said, “Get out! Go to the principals office!”
Now, one could surmise that she thought she was teaching how to be in control of a challenging situation, otherwise she wouldn’t have posted her story as one of her stellar classroom management strategies.
How is kicking a kid out of class the “tool” you want to teach others?
I put together this carousel ─ video short ─ to illustrate the Catch-22 of kicking kids out of class, when the adult in the room has not yet learned powerful, transformative, effective, and efficient ways to connect before correcting.
First Way We Blow Kids Up:
Public shame and humiliation is just the obvious way we blow kids up.
The adult in charge who doubles down on traumatizing already traumatized children to teach them a lesson about classroom protocol by simply kicking them out, is inviting the boomerang effect ─ what you do to others is headed right back on you in some way and in some form, i.e., school violence!
The adult’s attitudinal energy coming at the kid, reveals a lack of empathy and understanding.
Instead of considering the “what” ─ what’s really going on ─ behind the child’s refusal to engage with the assignment, the teacher selling her trainings on Facebook admittedly resorts to humiliating him in front of the entire class, demonstrating a troubling absence of both skills and compassion.
Zero-Nada-Zip.
She scores a minus zero on compassionate curiosity.
As she was boastfully sharing her story, she had zero interest, or even a little curiosity, as to what was going on for him that he was out right refusing to do his work.
And then, she didn’t even wonder why the parents would agree that he didn’t have to do the work!
I find that worth investigating on a human level.
I would be like Sherlock Holmes summoning Watson to help crack the case of the missing puzzle piece!
Second Way We Blow Kids Up:
Clearly, whatever the teacher does to “that” kid, the other students will do as well.
Attitudes, vibes, and tone transmit throughout the room.
Some call energy a contagion, but that implies that energy is negative.
Energy is just air that is always there!
Vibrationally speaking some energy is high and strengthens people, and some is low and weakens people building up resentments that can cause great harm.
I prefer to refer to what happens in the classroom as co-mingling energies that are impacting the neurophysiology of our kids all day every day and for the kid that can’t seem to do anything right, it’s compounded, and they become like a pressure cooker about ready to blow.
So, why listen to me?
As an FPC – Former Problem Child, I bring a unique perspective and deep understanding of the struggles of energetically triggered children.
With a master’s in educational psychology, counseling, and development, as well as experience as a K-8 teacher and K-12 counselor, I have the knowledge and expertise to help you quickly turn around the behavior of these children with my energetic approach.
Not only have I coached winning volleyball and basketball teams, but I have also worked as a drug, alcohol, and family counselor, allowing me to understand the complexities of working with at-risk children in various environments; rural, transient, suburban, and urban. I also volunteered for inner city programs.
My experience in behaviorally and academically diverse classrooms─55%-60% youth at risk─has consistently shown that I can help children grow and succeed. In fact, my classrooms have averaged 2.5-3 years of growth in annual standardized tests.
And I never once, kicked any student out of my classroom
to send them to the principals office. Not once!
When I first started out, I taught Energetics in my Breaking the Cycles of Failure – TACT: Teachers As Counselors Training Course for CEUs through Portland State University, via MESD – Multnomah Educational Service District, which gave me the skills to effectively use my Energy Hacks to help adults self- and co-regulate with energetically triggered children. Let alone solve problems, teach and coach missing skills, meet expectations, and fulfill unmet needs.
Additionally, my experience of blending a family of five and collaborating peacefully with former spouses and their new spouses and kids further qualifies me to help you navigate the challenges of working with today’s youth.
So let me be clear, I have all the patience in the world for children, but when it comes to adults abusing children intentionally, I am here to teach better, more humane ways to raise resilient, capable children.
Let’s work together to change our VIBEs so our kids can THRIVE.
This weeks TurnAround is this: Learn Something New!
As you may remember, I just launched my newest book, Energetics of Behavior: The Heart, Mind & Science Behind Transformative Adult-Child Interactions Kindle edition on my birthday this past September.
Well, it is finally ready for pre-ordering as a printed book. YAY! 💕
But that’s not why I’m bringing this up!
I’m going to GIVE you my book for FREE as a FlipBook │eBook for you to 1) dive into and devour, 2) to jump around in, or 3) quickly peruse.
You can register to get the book for free here.
Reaching out …
PS … Could you take two minutes sometime today to leave a review on the book? It would mean the world to me, and it’s REALLY helpful for my pre-order print book launch.
