[MasterMinding Monday] Breaking the Rules!?

Dear MasterMinder,

In an earlier blog this year on Mind Power, we saw that we have prematurely committed ourselves cognitively to many counterproductive rules.  In taking our power back, we must not skimp on this next step of necessary intellectual risks.

For in MasterMinding, with each new level we want to attain, we will need to be breaking our internal rules that we have simply accepted and become accustomed to.

break the rules

Gatekeepers of the Mind
Excerpt from MasterMinding 101: Know What You Want & Get It Online Course 

In one of my trainings, a participant had a problem with the idea of “breaking the rules.”  The concept of breaking the rules within her psyche was too disruptive and frightening.  She could not manage the implications of that kind of personal power all in one day.  You can call this whatever you want, and decide to take it in with baby steps.  She decided that she would simply like to “fine tune” the rules.  To her that seemed less invasive and more law abiding, and that’s perfectly fine.

Let’s not miss the point to all of this.  As you probe deeper and deeper into what it is your soul desires, you will get to meet your gatekeepers!  Your gatekeepers’ job is to keep reminding you about the rules your mind has come to understand are the “only way” you are allowed to do things.

Gatekeepers think that their job is keeping you safe, and they will remind you of what you’ve been told is possible, is the only truth, is just the way it is!  When you come up to a gatekeeper, your work now is to pause, ponder and question the validity of what you believe is going to stop you or deny you of what it is you say you want.  That is your intellectual risk, and it’s one that’s necessary to have a life that is different from what you are currently experiencing.

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You know your gatekeepers.  They sound like your mother, your father, the kids at school, the boss, the principle, your spouse and the media:

Don’t do that!
What do you want that for?
You can’t do that!  Everybody knows your chances are one in a bazillion!
Actors wait tables and starve for a living.
Who do you think you are?
Who would want to listen to what you have to say?
Are you crazy?  You should be happy with what you’ve got.  You’ve got a roof over your head, you’ve got a car to drive, you’ve got a decent job, you’ve got a husband and three kids, what more could a woman want? Click for source
See, I told you, money just burns a hole in your pocket.
Never be late, always be on time or else…..
Men’s brains are smaller than women’s, so they should not be expected share in household responsibilities, child rearing, be capable of monogamous relationships, blah, blah, blah.
Men have the Y chromosome, and women have the X, so women have one more leg, and so men should only do one thing at a time.
If you want it done right, have a woman do it!
If you want to build a great big organization, enroll a lot of women, because they will do more for less pay.
Why don’t you get a real job?
I told you that you’d never amount to anything.
You’d better marry well.
We don’t expect you to be as smart as your sister.
With those grades, you’d better learn a trade.
That was good, but you could have done better.
You’ll never be as good as your sibling.
With your looks, you’d better get good grades so you can get a job and support yourself.
Why don’t you try something easier?
All you ever think about is yourself.
If you are a woman over 30 years old, your chances of getting married are less than your chances of getting struck by lightening!
Quit dreaming!
You’re just plain lazy.
You’re a control freak.
You’re anal retentive.
You’re mean.
You’re a perfectionist!
You’re just too sensitive!
Be realistic!
Be careful!
Get over it!
Shut up!
Calm down.
Don’t cry.
I’ll give you something to cry about!
Don’t be a sissy.
Stop jumping around, you’re going to hurt yourself.
Be Careful!  You’re going to fall and kill yourself!
Behave, and Stay-have!
L-O-S-E-R !

Good God Ethel!  And the point here is: we accept this stuff as the only truth, our truth— our reasons to feel “less than”  or better than someone else, as we hold these things over them.  And when it’s all said and done, we are still left completely unfulfilled.  We beat ourselves up, we make ourselves wrong, and we do it to others, as well.

What do you feel when you think about rules like these?   Notice your energy level right now.  Do you feel like taking a nap, or going to bed for good?!  Do you feel depressed?  Is your energy suddenly very low?

Whenever you have a rule that feels de-energizing, then it is de-energizing.  That means, it’s a clue.  The clue is that this rule is not necessarily appropriate or productive.

My mother had a lot of rules that didn’t make any sense at all, but based on what she said to me and how she parented me I surmised that she thought it was her duty as a parent to enforce them, whether she intuitively felt differently in her heart or not.  She may have never considered dealing with the confusion between her intuition and what she thought the rule should be.

My experience of her unyielding authoritarian approach was her conviction to stick with the rules above all else, and she wore herself out micro-managing life.  She passed away at the young age of 56 from being a brittle diabetic. [Brittle diabetes mellitus (or labile diabetes) is a term used to describe particularly hard to control type 1 diabetes. Those people who have brittle diabetes will experience frequent, extreme swings in blood glucose levels, causing hyperglycemia or hypoglycemia.]

nonono

This is what we are attempting to overcome or, better said, “step-up to” in MasterMinding.  We are asking our partners to help us hear, help us discern what it is that we believe is the truth, the right way, or the one and only reality about our situations.  Together, we can challenge, challenge, challenge what has been true for us in the past, and start electing to “see” a new way of dealing with and “desiring” things into our experiences.

We need to challenge the rules that we’ve allowed our gatekeepers to get away with in our psyches!  And here’s what the gatekeepers represent:  temptation.

The first temptation is to settle for less  — to justify, rationalize, defend, debate, and explain why we supposedly can’t have what we deeply desire.

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The second temptation (among many others) is to judge, police, edify and legalize others based on what we’ve come to believe – interpret scripturally – as the only Truth, the only way and the only Word as we understand it.  This is what causes the great DIS-connection where we attitudinally withhold love.  Let’s face it folks, we can not love and judge in the same instant and God’s ultimate command to us is to Love God with all our our hearts, minds and souls and to love our neighbor as ourselves as discussed in Luke, Matthew, Mark, Deuteronomy and in many ways throughout.

There will be those reading this who believe it their God given right – commission – to police, judge, edify and legalize what they have determined other people are doing wrong. MasterMinding weekly gives us all an invitation to ask what will align not divide us.

I can back up everything I offer with scripture and yet there are those who will read the exact same scripture as I am reading and choose to see it completely different from me and therein lies the rub, i.e., entitlement to edify those who experience God differently than us, instead of choosing peace and love above all else.

I refer to Romans 14:1 4 – which each person can read and interpret based on what they are deciding to put first.  Ask to know what is yours to give, be, do and have that will align you with people rather than to take a superior approach with others who see things differently than you.

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We have fought for mediocrity, all for the sake of being loyal to the rules.  Maybe because these rules  came from our parents, our teachers, our peers, our clergy, or the people we admire and maybe even put up on a pedestal.  All the more reason to lift the eyes of your mind up and start looking around, until you see ways to align and not divide.  When we pray, visualize, affirm alignment God knows the way to that end, even though we don’t right now.

What I work on every morning in my coffee time with God (and throughout the day) is the ability to suspend all judgment quickly because I have been shown that I simply can not judge others’ judgments of others and not be a judger myself and still BE e a shining light for the PEACE that passes all understanding by God’s Grace that’s been given to us all.

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Light has no shadow!
The Bible says, “God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5

The greatest temptation of all is to quit the moment we meet our first several gatekeepers.  The temptation is to comply with the unwritten rules that everybody knows about, even though all the rules of the World will ultimately contradict themselves, if you observe long enough.

Here’s to your richest life imaginable and beyond!

Let’s MasterMind! 
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MakeADifference.com/MasterMinding
Click here to read last week’s blog: Necessary Risks

PS … and here’s today’s MasterMinding for Money Movie Statement of Intention:

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PPS… Need a MasterMind partner?  This mini-book I wrote is a Perfect Way to Approach Like-Minded People to become Your MasterMind Partner!  Put 2-3 in your car, purse or briefcase so your are 100% ready when the opportunities present themselves It will give you just enough to start a soul connecting conversation to find out if working with them is a perfect fit for you!

gwutob c

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