Dear Difference Maker,
Over the past several weeks we’ve been slowing things down to take a little time to really get a feel for what we really want vs what we think is possible or what we think we should want. Today we are ready to begin taking the necessary steps to a Soul FulFILLing, Healthy & Rich Life with …
Mary’s 7 Step Process for Soul Goaling
Excerpt from MasterMinding 101: Know What You Want & Get It Online Course
Work through this process on each area of your life. Profession, Finances, Health, Weight, Relationships. Take one area at a time and be thorough. Spend as much time as you need on each area, and when you are done with all the most important concerns, you will end up with specific, well designed, and well defined goals.
Step 1. How it is.
Write about the good, the bad, and the ugly of this situation. Your job in answering this question is not necessarily to see the positive side of the silver lining. What you want to do here is get to the heart of what’s troubling you.
Many people resist letting themselves get into this initially, because they think they are not being positive. We have been so hammered about not being positive enough that it literally keeps us from the very clues we need to get this whole thing turned around.
If you have not achieved an important goal or are troubled by something right now, most likely it is not a positive experience for you, and that’s exactly why we are writing about how it is for you.
Writing about your “how it is” experience will give you information about what your beliefs are, what is felt, and most importantly about the areas where you need to take your power back and begin to formulate new goals and, therefore, new requests.
Write, write, and write until you have nothing left to say about how upsetting this is for you. This is not about being negative. This is about what’s real and how we are going to get to the positive.
Step 2. What do you want to eliminate?
Have at it here. Don’t be shy, and don’t think you’ve got to be nice! This is your time to vent, to let loose about what you wish you could just eliminate. I’ve even had people ask me if they could eliminate the people in their lives that they couldn’t stand. Yes, write their names down here.
Of course, you’d like problematic and hurtful people out of your life. Write about the things about them, the characteristics or behaviors that you want eliminated. This is valid. It is what you wish secretly and it’s currently not getting you anywhere keeping them all stuffed down and covered up. Maybe what you want to eliminate is financial insecurity. Write about it. Maybe you want to eliminate disregard, disruptive intrusions, exhaustion, hate, hurt, or physical pain. Whatever it is, regarding the particular area of your life you are working on, write everything about what you want to eliminate. Get it all out.
When you’ve gotten it ALL written, and there’s nothing more in you to write about eliminating, you have just cleared the decks to begin to carve out a different experience in each and every area of your life. Your rational mind might start kicking in here, trying to figure out “how” this is all going to work to get you more of what you want, and less of what you don’t want. But you need to take control of those gatekeepers and tell them to sit down and be quiet for now.
Step 3. What do you desire?
Now that you clearly know what you don’t want any longer, it’s much easier to begin articulating what you do want. This step in the process will ultimately become your goals and your MasterMind requests. As you write “I want,” or “I prefer,” or “I desire,” or “I have decided for,” you will begin to see what your soul’s goals really are. Surrender as fully into your heart as you can with this step, and you will end up with specific, clearly defined goals that you’re more apt to make happen than any other time before. You should have enough emotional energy going right now to bypass all of your gatekeepers and start writing as fast and as passionately as you can about everything that you do want instead! Got it. Get going.
Maybe for you, like me, knowing what I wanted was once the farthest thing from my consciousness. I had no idea what I wanted. I thought my one and only job was to figure out what every body else wanted, and in doing so, I would be loved, approved of, and therefore, safe. I’ll never forget the first time a man asked me what I wanted. He was the first guy I dated after my marriage broke up, and I was working hard to please him so he would want to be with me. I thought that was my job in relationships. What I really wanted was for him to love me and marry me. But what I said was, “Honey, I want whatever you want?” Ugh! Oh my God! I knew as soon as I said it, there was clearly something wrong with this picture. He quit calling me right after that most enlightened answer of mine.
What I have found for myself, and for the many with whom I have worked, is that many of us have this “disease to please.” We have not learned how to really tap into what we really want. In designing these steps, I specifically wanted to get the pump primed. I figured out early that if I could vent about everything that I did not want, without repercussions from somebody telling I wasn’t being “positive,” when I got it all said, I then could begin to put words to what I did want.
Step 4. Why do you think you can’t have what you desire?
Your answers here will reveal your “buts”! That’s right, all the reasons why not. You will need to make a list of everything you come up with, because for each and every reason why not, you will want to begin looking for it’s exact opposite. As you learn to do this more readily, you begin expanding your “mental equivalent” of what you want. This will begin to point your nose in the direction you want to be going. As you shift your attention and your perception, you will begin to receive new evidence that what you want is in fact possible. You can turn each and every “but” into a request and accept that it can manifest, regardless of your current level of belief or acceptance of what you’ve been told is realistic.
Step 5. Why do you want what you want?
As you write about this, understand that this is an exercise in building momentum and resolve. Resolve is a very powerful energy, and now you need to really know why you want what you want. It could be as simple as: It would be fun, enjoyable, and pleasurable! Or it could be as involved as: It will bring world peace or heal people’s lives. Your having what you really want is actually honoring the Divine desires that are trying to come through you. It is not arrogant to move toward the thing that is calling your name. It’s the thing that won’t leave you alone. It’s the thing that keeps pulling at you because you keep ignoring it, because up until now, deep down, you didn’t believe or think that you have the time, the courage, the intelligence, the credibility, or the stamina to make it happen. Write it, and you bring it down from the ether, and then it becomes real. Suddenly, it will even begin to feel more possible.
In some cases, when people write about what they really want, they become very emotional. They may feel depressed, sad, or angry. If this occurs for you while you are writing from your heart, it simply means that you are back up in your head, listening to the gatekeepers and all of their reasons why what you want can’t happen. This also means you are busy trying to figure out “how,” and this exercise is not about figuring out “how” — we’re not even going to go there yet. The “how” will be provided for you once you decide exactly what it is your really want, prefer, or desire and then turn it into a MasterMind request. So, you will need to enforce a little mental discipline here to stick with this process. When we can begin to look at the things that have previously been convincing us that we can’t have what we want, we become more conscious and therefore more discerning. It is from this more powerful place that we can decide differently, and all that has gone before will literally change in an instant.
Step 6. Why should you have it?
Why should you have it? Now that’s an interesting spin. Most of your attention has been on why you shouldn’t have it, or why you think you don’t or can’t deserve it! Now, in this step we are turning this whole deserving mentality around and gazing at it from its opposite perspective. It is so wonderful to begin considering what we’ve never considered before. That what you want wants you. Now you are really building a case for what you want. This brings with it more clarity and even more resolve than what you thought you felt in the previous question. Keep digging into those feelings of deprivation and lack, and replace them with your authority to heal any area of your life that’s problematic for you.
Step 7. What do I need to change about me, or my thinking, in order to have it?
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal? Now that’s the question, isn’t it? But I have good news. And the news is not what you think. You still think it’s got to be hard, that you have to do things that are going to be hard, that it’s going to take every ounce of you to make this happen, and that’s not really what the question is about. The key word here is “willingness.” What you most likely need to change about yourself is your fear about what you “think” it’s going to take.
By way of definition, willingness is a frame of mind which is open to every possible demand, without judgment, reservation, or refusal. As with happiness, you don’t have to do anything to achieve willingness. It’s a frame of mind. You just have to choose to be willing. There’s no process involved in getting it. You get it by having it. It works miraculously, by itself.
I once had a woman in one of my trainings who really got in touch with her deepest dream. She was currently earning a phenomenal income in a job she hated. What she had always wanted to be was an architect. But she did not think she could stand to give up the money she was making to pursue her dream, her passion.
Here’s what I instructed her to do: Make a written list of all the things you feel are necessary for you to reach your particular goal, or dream. Such a list might look like this…
1) Party less, study more.
2) Work 12 hours a day, six days a week to accomplish a six year architectural degree in four years.
3) Resign my high paying job to go back to school.
4) Move into a smaller place. Live on less, for four years, to have more psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and, eventually, financially.
5) Move to another city, so I can go to a university that has a leading architectural program.
6) Pay for my own insurance benefits for the next four years.
And so it goes. You continue to list everything that comes up for you that you think and believe will be necessary for you to accomplish this. You’ve made up the entire list and now you go down them, one by one, asking yourself, “Am I willing to do this?”
Let’s say you find that you are willing on the first four but not the fifth one. You feel there’s no way you can possibly stand to move, let alone be willing. Whichever ones on your list this happens with, you want to just let it cook and simmer for a while. Just spend some time seeing if you can get your mind around the idea of being willing to be willing.
Maybe money could be an issue here, since not all the people have the cash enough to do all this changes, but there is when they need to be willing to take risks, maybe take a loan, which is easier now a days even if you have bad credit. Financerr has a proper explanation about it, mini credit loans are known for its fast and reliable assistance.
What I’ve found to be miraculous about this time-tested strategy is that once you write down everything you “think” you are going to have to do or give up, and when you can become willing on each and every item on your list, you will begin to see things unfold in ways you never expected. The most interesting thing of all, at least in my experience, is that I have never once had to do everything on the list that I “thought” I would have to do or give up. It was my willingness to change myself and surrender into willingness that brought in the “how” in ways that I, of myself, never could have figured out.
And this is what Soul Goaling is all about.
Reaching out …
PS … and here’s today’s MasterMinding for Money Movie Statement of Intention: